Neglected

My daughter was less than two years old when her sister was born. Suddenly, she was from queen of the castle to sharing the title and that was not easy. Neither was having mommy home, but not being able to play every second of the day.

Besides being tired, recovering and a little overwhelmed with a baby, I had a toddler running loose in my house! And just about every 45 minutes I was strapped to the chair with a hungry baby. Whatever was I to do?!?!

Not to worry, my toddler was not scarred. She was not damaged. She may have been a little bored but we worked it out.

I knew the transition would be tough. And having mommy home and stuck to a baby would be even tougher. So, we figured out ways to have fun around the nursing schedule. First of all, I put her little table near the chair I was feeding in. While nursing, I would color, help with stickers and read. We read books. We put together board puzzles. We watched movies and television shows. She wasn't deprived of attention. But I have a very independent little girl on my hands, so maybe she is a rare case.

In the time I wasn't nursing, we made the most of the moments. We went on walks. I put the baby in a Moby wrap and pushed the toddler in her swing. We painted with pudding. We danced. We played in her water table and I watched her splash in her pool. We played Legos. We kicked a ball back and forth.

And in her own way, she knew that mommy had something else to do. She knew when the baby was eating and she would ask "you gonna pump?" when I would get out my pump bag. She never bothered me or nagged, and even though I felt guilty, I knew it was important. I mean, she got that time with me, shouldn't her little sister? Me and the baby needed time to get to know one each other without a layer of skin and some internal organs separating us. We needed to have time to learn how the other worked. Just because she had an older sister didn't mean she didn't deserve all of her mom too! God knows there are already way fewer pictures of her, should there be less time as well?

I had to drop the guilt and realize that at not-even-two, my toddler didn't know any better. She was okay with giving up some of her mom for her new sister. And the relationship between me and the youngest is better for it.